Uh.. I'll take "Swords" for $400.

The following photos have nothing in common except they were all taken here in Afghanistan and I hopefully can give each a one word caption starting with the letter S.  My inspiration for this silliness is the following funny SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skit.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/289968/saturday-night-live-celebrity-jeopardy

Here we go...

Sign 1

 Some Afghans have grown up rarely using toilets and poop by squatting over a hole in the ground.  When brought onto the base to work they are strongly encouraged to use the porta potties.  I guess the concept of sitting while pooping wasn't implied with the addition of the toilet seat to their routine.  Apparently some injuries occurred so these signs were put up on the porta potty doors.

Sign 2

There has been some issues with getting supplies across the Pakistan border.  The USA PX shelves were mostly bare for awhile.  I had most of what I needed but somethings (i.e. medicine, see previous blog) would have been nice to buy.  There was one shelf which was always full and it was full of salsa.  Must of been 100 jars of salsa just sitting there smiling at me.  Now many of you who know how big of a chips and salsa fan I am might think this was a blessing for me.  And it would have been except the chips were on the other side of the Pakistan border.  It was my version of hell... it reminded me of all those old Got Milk commercials... Arron Burr. 

Shocker

I will never look at my laundry the same.




Sunset



Sunset 2



Sidekicks

 These are my  two coworkers, Dave is walking into the tent on the left and Bret Love is sitting on the right.



Smile



Snapshot - outside the wire of camp marmal



snowy mountains - camp marmal



scenic view - camp marmal

Smile 2

Standing - Dave left, Rene right

Smile 3 - inside work tent

Shops - Camp Spann Bazaar

Squats

Squats 2

Sunglasses from Vero and Jon!



Under the weather

I have had the pleasure now of visiting the Red Cross on 2 separate occasions.  These visits coincide with why I have taken a few weeks off from writing my blog. 

My first visit was to get some cold medicine.  I tried to buy some from the local PX but they were only selling Pamprin pills.  Good for bloating not so good for my coughing, sneezing, running noise, headache, so I couldn’t rest problem.  I popped into the Red Cross and asked if they had any Sudafed.  I was asked my symptoms and quickly whisked away into an examining room where my temperature and vitals were taken.   The soldier nurse guy finally came to the same conclusion I did that it was a cold and sent me off with Clairton-D and Mucinex.  I was surprised by all the helped I had received… it wasn’t until later, when it was brought to my attention that my symptoms were the exact symptoms of malaria, that it dawned on me why the need for the through exam.  I didn’t think I needed to worry about malaria because I thought it was too cold here for malaria carrying mosquitoes (which it is).  I forgot malaria is also found in water and possibly the non-potable “water” I shower in everyday… well let’s just say I have stopped brushing my teeth in the shower.

My second visit came about a week later after I sprained a back muscle.  I was helping move some equipment and apparently didn’t lift with my knees.   I couldn’t sit, stand, lie down, or walk; everything I did hurt.   After 2 nights of self medicating with Tylenol PM and sleeping pills I decided to seek help from the overly accommodating Red Cross.  Surely they would have muscle relaxers or pain medicine to ease my pain.  I hobbled in and described my symptoms… I was in so much pain I start to cry half way through my explanation.  The soldier nurse guy this time looked at me and said all I can give you is some Motrin.  If it still hurts in a few days come back but no guarantees.  WHAT?!?  I come in with the sniffles and get more attention than a new born baby from its mother but when I am in tears because the pain is so bad and I can’t walk they usher me out on the street like Lindsey Lohan at an awards show after party.  Good news is my back is feeling better and I have started to wean off the Tylenol PM, Motrin, sleeping pill concoction I was killing my liver with.

In all fairness and jokes aside, the Red Cross soldier nurses did what they could for me and I thank them for all their help.  And I guess you all know what you can send in your next care packages... just in case I hurt my back again, you know for my liver's sake :).

Mazar-I-Sharif from the ground and air.

In the past week I have had the pleasure of driving through and flying over Mazar-i-Sharif.   Mazar-i-Sharif is the 4^th largest city in Afghanistan with a population of about 370,000 inhabitants.  I tried to look up more information but Wikipedia is down because of SOPA and PIPA protesting… so you will have to do that on your own in 24 hours.

My drive through Mazar-i-Sharif was with a German caravan.  On the way out there I traveled in the back of an APC.  I will avoid doing that again at any cost.  It’s like going on an old wooden rollercoaster ride with no windows.  The ride took about 50 minutes, and lucky I didn’t eat breakfast or it might have been all over the inside of the APC.  On the way home, the German’s were nice enough (or didn’t want to have to clean my lunch off their equipment) to let me ride in an Eagle which has windows.   I did not take any photos on my ride back, sorry, as it was my first ride and I was too busy taking everything in. 

Also, to make life a little more interesting the day before my trip is when the video of the US Marines urinating on dead Afghans was released.  There was concern for the backlash this might have caused or demonstrations that might have transpired as a result in the city.  Fortunately the trip was uneventful and successful.

Few things I noticed on the trip:

1)      Mud!  It was raining but everything I saw was made of mud or covered in it.  It seems when you get a piece of property in Afghanistan the first thing you do is build a huge mud wall around your property.  Even if you don’t built a house on the property… you make sure to have this mud wall up.

2)      Afghans seem to wear the same attire in the summer and winter.  I saw men walking in sandals with their feet covered in mud.  Even a delivery guy had his back stripped with mud from spray off his bike tires.  There were a few women walking around with Burka but mostly I saw men and children in the streets most without gloves or winter gear of any kind. 

3)      Children for the most part waved at us as we drove by.  Some ran by the side of the road to follow us.  I saw a soccer game being played on a muddy field with most of the kids barefoot (note: the temperature was about 45 degrees F).

4)      There are a ton of yellow cars.  I would say 80 percent of the cars on the road I saw were yellow.

5)      Men seem to loiter on the side of the road, not really talking, just staring at the cars as the pass by.  And majority of these men don’t stand when loitering, they seem to squat like a catchers in baseball.  An interesting site to see all these grown men squatting next to the road.

6)      They do have food venders selling food on the side of the road.   Looked to me to be some kind of nan bread and a lot of fruit and vegetables.  I also saw a whole pig strung up outside someone’s home.    

7)      Afghans so far seem to be happy, friendly, and nice... and love mud walls!

Smiling... this is before my ride.



Inside the APC



APC... my ride out.

German soldier... if James Brown (my JB) was in Afghanistan and German this would be him!

My flight over Mazar-i-Sharif took about 10 minutes.  I flew on a Sikorsky 61.   This was my first helicopter flight.  The morning flight was too dark to take pictures but I took some on my way home.  A couple of my tent mates happen to be on my same flight and I took a picture with one of them.  I hope you enjoy the pictures of Mazar-i-Sharif as seen from my chopper.

In the chopper with Hanzel, one of my tent mates.

Mud walls

some more mud walls

city center

Yup you guessed it... more mud walls.

And the 4th little pig built his house out of DRASH.

There has been a new development since my last post… it snowed!

I guess before each snow storm (and even sometimes when there is no storm to follow) there is a wind storm.  Because of the previous rain there wasn’t much sand flying around in the wind. However, it was still ear and nose biting cold, which really made going using the bathroom at night an adventure. 

I was trying to fall asleep the other night amongst one of these wind storms and couldn’t as I was compelled to do mathematical equations in my head.  I was trying to figure out at what velocity the wind would need to reach to blow down my tent.  This brings me to the other reason I couldn’t sleep… the crashing and banging sounds my tent was making in the storm had me convinced we were fairly close to that critical velocity.  Good news is by morning the wind had died down, my tent was still standing, and I had freshened up on some Newtonian physics I hadn’t thought about in years.  My tent mates informed me that no one sleeps on nights before storms… looks like I have some fun midnight math and physics problem solving in my future.

I am attaching some more fun pictures for you...  

This is the truck I get to drive around.  I share it with my 2 coworkers.  And yes we mounted the antenna ourselves, and no it does not help get radio stations from outerspace.

 As you can see there are basketball and volleyball courts.  I am hoping before I leave here to get in a game or two of volleyball, but we will have to see.

This is the first book I finished here.  It is written by a friend of mine I met on my last assignment at Fort Benning, GA.  Cheers Colonel Bill if you’re reading this.

This is one of the Germans hangout rooms.  I have to walk through it every day to get to my office.  Sometimes they have parties in there while I am still working and I can hear their techno music and the clanking of beer bottles.  For now I will just have to live vicariously through them… and each of you at home.

This I came across this gem in the German PX... it made me laugh.

I am still well and healthy and God willing I will stay this way.  I miss you all and look forward to coming home in a few months.  Till then I will keep you posted on my life in the sandbox.

Pictures of my tent city (Prime Beef), tent, and room

Me in Afghanistan!

My rug

My bed

My room from the door. Desk on right, bed on left.

Tent hallway

My front door

Front Gate into Prime Beef